Harry Potter and the Order of the iPhone
by Sailor Eclectica
Summary: What if Harry Potter and all of his friends had phones? Read on as Harry theboywholived and Voldemort naginilover162 fight to the death in cyberspace and Ginny mrspotterlove stalks Harry until he finally just blows up! Thanks a lot Hermione! So read on to see what other crazy things lay uncovered deep in the phones of Hogwarts' most famous residents!
1. Hermione and Luna

Spewbookgirl is online

Narglesloveradishes is online

Spewbookgirl:

Luna-pants! I need some advice

Narglesloveradishes:

Why do you call me Luna- pants? But anyway, what is it? I might be able to help.

Spewbookgirl:

Because your name is Luna and you wear pants.

PS. Ron is being a jerk.

Narglesloveradishes:

This is true.

PPS. What's he doing?

Spewbookgirl:

I'll give you another hint: Lavender + Brown= Red haired jerk.

Narglesloveradishes:

Oh, yeah… Well, does he like you or not? And do you like him? : *

Spewbookgirl:

I have no interest in that gross kissie-wissie Ronniekins! :(

Narglesloveradishes:

So now you're giving him cute nicknames, huh? I know you like him.

Spewbookgirl:

I do not! I have half a mind to send a flock of birds to attack him!

Narglesloveradishes:

Well, don't. He's your friend and he'd probably be happy for you if you fell in love.

Spewbookgirl:

Are you saying that you think they're in love?

Narglesloveradishes:

No! No, I'm sorry. Just… don't be mad… I mean at him, and me.

Spewbookgirl:

Fine, fine. I'm not mad. At you, anyway.

Narglesloveradishes:

G2G. Gonna call Daddy before lights out.

Spewbookgirl:

KK. Thx for the help. Tell me if he has any more news about the Quibbler!

Narglesloveradishes:

Sure! He's working on a special article, I'll ttyl about it.

Spewbookgirl:

Cool, can't wait. C U.

A/N: So, do you like it? Leave a comment about what pairing you want to see next!


	2. Ron and Lavender

Gingerquidditchdude is online.

Apurpleflower is online.

Gingerquidditchdude:

Hey babe

Apurpleflower:

Hey baby! What's up ;)

Gingerquidditchdude:

Just talkin' to Hermy. SUCH a nerd. :P

Apurpleflower:

Ugh! I know! Honestly Ronnie, I don't even understand why you hang out with her!

Gingerquidditchdude:

Well, she's my friend and Harrys friend too… but don't worry. I love you. :)

Apurpleflower:

Oh well. Let nerds be nerds and freaks be freaks. I love you too snuggle-bear! ;)

Gingerquidditchdude:

I love you so much beautiful, but those are my friends. :(

Apurpleflower:

I forgive you.

Gingerquidditchdude:

Uh, ya. C ya in Div. Class. Gotta go to Qudditch practice.

Apurpleflower:

Oh don't go Ronniekins! I'll miss you too much :(


	3. Ron and Dumbledore

Gingerquidditchdude is online.

Lemondrop is online.

Gingerquidditchdude:

Hey sexy gurl… : *

Lemondrop:

Whom is this?

Gingerquidditchdude:

Ronniekins, duh. Just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about leaving you. Wanna make-out in the girls bathroom?

Lemondrop:

What? Dolores, is that you? I told you to please stop texting me.

Gingerquidditchdude:

This is Ron Weasley, Ur Lavender Brown, right?

Lemondrop:

No, Mr. Weasley, this is Professor Dumbledore.

Gingerquidditchdude:

Oh! Professor Dumbledore, I'm soooo sorry!

Lemondrop:

"So" is spelled with one "o" Mr. Weasley.

Gingerquidditchdude:

Um, goodbye professor.

Lemondrop:

Goodbye, Mr. Weasley.


	4. Harry and Ginny

Mrspotterlove is online.

Theboywholived is online.

Mrspotterlove:

Heeey. Hermione gave me your number harry-sweetie. :*

Theboywholived:

Um. Who is this?

Mrspotterlove:

Ginny, the only girl you'll ever love. Forever. 3

Theboywholived:

Um. I'm sorry; you have reached the automated text-mail of Harry Potter. Please shut up and don't try again. P.S. Remind me later to yell at Hermione.

Mrspotterlove:

Oh, Harry baby, your soo funny! :D I know you love me; you're just too embarrassed to say so!

Theboywholived:

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. The number you have reached is out of service.

Mrspotterlove:

Harry… :'(

Theboywholived:

.

Mrspotterlove:

HARRY JAMES POTTER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU AND HAVE YOUR CHILDREN :D

Theboywholived:

That's it. I am going to kill Hermione.

Mrspotterlove:

I would he honored to be called Ginevera Potter.

Theboywholived:

I thought you hated that name! (Ginevera, not Potter.)

Mrspotterlove:

Well if you love it then I do! :)

Theboywholived:

I like Ginny better…

Mrspotterlove:

Well then Ginny Potter. I've already got a list of names for our not-so-future children :D

Theboywholived:

Look Ginny, I don't like you. You're sweet and funny but you're not Asian. I may be a boy wizard who defeated the most evil villain on the planet at age one, but I'm still a teen and hormones still apply. Asians are hot.

Mrspotterlove:

I still love you, but you'll see. In the end Cho will NEVER love you and I will! :'(

Theboywholived:

Bye Ginny.

Mrspotterlove:

Goodbye sexiest man alive!


	5. Harry and Cho

Sexyasian is online

Theboywholived is online

Theboywholived:

Heeey. :)

Sexyasian:

Um, you ok?

Theboywholived:

Perfectly fine, thx. How bout u?

Sexyasian:

Kinda depressed.

Theboywholived:

Aw. What happened?

Sexyasain:

Thinkin bout Ced.

Theboywholived:

Yeah. What a shock, right?

Sexyasian:

Ya, I rlly miss him. He was the 3 of my life.

Theboywholived:

Oh. Well. Ok.

Sexyasian:

But he's gone…

Theboywholived:

Yep. I was there, remember? In the graveyard. With the noseless guy. And the hooded creeps.

Sexyasian:

Well, it's too bad u couldn't save Ced. :'(

Theboywholived:

Hey, I was tied to a gravestone!

Sexyasian:

OMG! I hate it when guys get all defensive. Txt me when ur nice. :(

Theboywholived:

Well it's true. I'll text you later.

Sexyasian:

Well, bye. BTW Jenny or whatever her name is told me you were being mean to her too. So just try to control urself. :(

Theboywholived:

Geez. Sorry. Her name is Ginny. So there. Bye.


	6. Voldemort and Bellatrix

Voldiespet is online.

Naginilover162 is online.

Naginilover162:

I got this # off of instagram from Peter. He said he wanted me to "hook up" with u, but he wouldn't tell me who you are.

Voldiespet:

Hay my lord! It's your loyal servant Bella! 3

Naginilover162:

Bellatrix Lestrange? Well, it's better than being alone forever…

Voldiespet:

Yes my lord! I would love to harbor your children!

Naginilover162:

Little dark babies… I would name them Kill, Death, and Mame!

Voldiespet:

THEY WILL BE BEAUTIFUL! THEY WILL LOOK JUST LIKE THEIR FATHER!

Naginilover162:

Three evil children just as handsome and smart as I… excellent. Our evil family plans are going swimmingly. :D

Voldiespet:

But my lord, I thought you hated children as a result of your deep childhood trauma?

Naginilover162:

I DO NOT FEEL PAIN, BELLATRIX! PAIN IS AN OBSTICLE OF POWER. I NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE OVER WHEN I DIE OF A FATAL NOSE INJURY!

Voldiespet:

Wise words spoken by a childhood hero. But my lord- you don't have a nose!

Naginilover162:

WELL SOMETIMES IT'S NICE TO DREAM BELLA! :D

Voldiespet:

Yes my lord! I'm sorry! Forgive me! Yay dreams!

Naginilover162:

Yes. Yay dreams. Do… you… have a dream Bella?

Voldiespet:

I had a dream once where I was in gringotts, riding on one of those superfast carts with the dragon chasing me as I was stuffing coins into my pocket. But suddenly, a giant elf comes and turns the gold into disappearing fool's gold! And then you came and we made-out a little. But that's not creepy at all.

Naginilover162:

That's a WONDERFUL dream, Bella! Almost half as good as mine! :')

Voldiespet:

What's your dream master?

Naginilover162:

To have a nose, Bella.

Voldiespet:

I know a great plastic surgeon! He gives you a free card if you spend more than 500$ a week… YOU CAN BORROW IT!

Naginilover162:

Thank you, but I must go now Bella. I have a date with Peter, we are going… bowling.

Voldiespet:

Have fun my lord! Don't slip live you did last time!

Naginilover162:

THAT WAS ONE TIME!


	7. Harry and Voldemort

Naginilover162 is online

Theboywholived is online

Naginilover162:

WE TEXT AGAIN HARRY POTT

Naginilover162:

*Potter

Theboywholived:

SO WE DO! :O

Naginilover162:

You know I can take you any day, Potter, and your scummy Hogwarts friends too!

Theboywholived:

Challenge accepted. But can't we wait til' I've left Hogwarts, am 17, and have wandered about the woods on an extended camping trip for a bit?

Naginilover162:

I would, but I have a limited data plan.

Theboywholived:

Ooooh, the big bad Voldemort got stuck on Cricket, did he?

Naginilover162:

Nope, Magic Jack, but it won't st

Theboywholived:

That's what you get for buying a Suckberry.


	8. Ron and Hermione

Spewbookgirl is online.

Gingerquidditchdude is online.

Spewbookgirl:

Ron. We need to talk.

Gingerquidditchdude:

What is it this time… :(

Spewbookgirl:

I am angry at you and according to this book I should yell at you over texting until you apologize.

Gingerquidditchdude:

Whoa, I'm sorry… Just so busy with being cool and having a GF and all…

Spewbookgirl:

WHAT! SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

Gingerquidditchdude:

Calm down. What' your prob, Hermy?

Spewbookgirl:

Nothing. Sorry.

Gingerquidditchdude:

So, um, how r classes going?

Spewbookgirl:

I might be failing Ancient Ruins. I only got an A- on the last test!

Gingerquidditchdude:

Aww come on Hermy, we all know you're the best in the class.

P.S. I'm failing (#^_^#)

Spewbookgirl:

OH that's horrible! Do you want to copy my essay!

Gingerquidditchdude:

Oh ya! Thanks Hermy! Ur my girl. ;)

Spewbookgirl:

Really? Well, I mean… :D

Gingerquidditchdude:

Ya! Totally, you've been my friend since the beginning even when I'm kind of a jerk. So I'm gonna take you to Three Broomsticks when we go to Hogsmeade next week. Butterbeer's on me! :D

Spewbookgirl:

Oh. Well thanks. Yum. Butterbeer, I mean. Yeah…

Gingerquidditchdude:

K! C ya in Potions. Just put the essay on my bed. I'll give it back to you in a few days.

Spewbookgirl:

KK. See you. Don't forget your detention w/ Snape after school!


	9. Voldemort and Wormtail

Naginilover162 is online

Wormtail is online

Naginilover162:

Wormtail, I'm waiting in front of the bowling alley! Where are you?

Wormtail:

I got stuck in traffic my lord.

Naginilover162:

Stupid muggle transportation, why couldn't you have chosen an activity where I didn't have to be surrounded by hideous muggles?

Wormtail:

Because everybody in the wizarding world knows you and wants you dead, my dark king!

Naginilover162:

Of course, I forgot.

Wormtail:

You have a perfect mind my lord, you never forget, it's always on the tip of your...

Naginilover162:

Nose? Well guess what Wormtail I don't have one!

Wormtail:

I was going to say tongue.

Naginilover162:

Don't lie Wormtail, just get over here I'm freezing off my nose over here.

Wormtail:

Naginilover162:

What was that?

Wormtail:

Nothing, my lord. I'm coming in a minute.

Naginilover162:

Wormtail why aren't you here yet?

Wormtail:

I'm going as fast as I can, I don't want to alarm the muggle police.

Naginilover162:

Well that's not fast enough! They're closing in five minutes.

Wormtail:

My lord, can you ever forgive me?

Naginilover162:

Maybe. Lucius took me to an amusement park last week.

Wormtail:

Were you amused?

Naginilover162:

Quite.

Wormtail:

:\

Naginilover162:

I'm rescheduling our golf lesson to go to the mall with Lucius. He said we r going to go to Hollister and get swimsuits. Better than sitting in a parking lot.

Wormtail:

But Lucius left you when I have been loyal!

Naginilover162:

LUCIUS BUYS ME ICE CREAM!

Wormtail:

I would've bought you ice cream...

Naginilover162:

But you didn't, and now it's too late.

Wormtail:

Well, I'll see you later :'(

Naginilover162:

ITS TOO LATE WORMTAIL.


	10. Harry and Draco

Theboywholived is online

Purebloodpride is online

Purebloodpride:

So, your snotty little Ginny friend gave me your number because she wants me to set you two up. Got a little crush, Potter?

Theboywholived:

The only thing I'll crush is you, Malfoy :(

Purebloodpride:

Well, the little Ginny girl isn't the best crush. She spilled all your dirty little secrets.

Theboywholived:

What secrets? What did she tell you?

Purebloodpride:

Like how you cry out for your mommy in the middle of the night.

Theboywholived:

I do not! You're the only one who cries out for your mom!

Purebloodpride:

As if! And how you have a crush on the girl… the hot Asian one… Cho Chang! Yes, wouldn't she like to know about that…

Theboywholived:

What? That's not- well, actually that's true. But I was going to tell her soon!

Purebloodpride:

Yeah right. And I'll tell her all of your other secrets if you ever make fun of me again!

Theboywholived:

But I was, you snotty brat! And I will! Soon!

Purebloodpride:

Unless I tell her first :)

Theboywholived:

I'm not snotty, and it's my freakiness that got me famous. Not everyone can say they've dated a celebrity.

Purebloodpride:

A celebrity? Ha! When can I get my autograph, Potter?

Theboywholived:

Any time Malfoy. That'll be ten galleons.

Purebloodpride:

Well, nevermind then. I'll see you in transfiguration Potter. Maybe someone can change you back into a pig!

Theboywholived:

Well maybe somebody can change you back into a liar, wait! You already are one!

Purebloodpride:

We'll see about that. Wait until my father hears about this.

Theboywholived:

Well maybe you can cry about your mommy to him too.


	11. Ron and Hermione: I love you

Spewbookgirl is online

Gingerquidditchdude is online

Spewbookgirl:

Hello Ron! I was wondering where we could meet to go to the Three Broomsticks?

Gingerquidditchdude:

Well, actually, Lavender wanted me to take her to Honey dukes.

Spewbookgirl:

And you said yes?

Gingerquidditchdude:

Yes. :(

Spewbookgirl:

RONALD WEASLEY! You promised to take me to Honey dukes! :'(

Gingerquidditchdude:

Hermy! She's my girlfriend!

Spewbookgirl:

STOP CALLING ME HERMY MY NAME IS HERMIONE!

Gingerquidditchdude:

Lav was right, I can't trust you.

Spewbookgirl:

You talked to her about me? And you have a little pet name for her now too?

Gingerquidditchdude has logged off

Spewbookgirl:

Ron come back!

Spewbookgirl:

Ron?

Spewbookgirl:

I love you… D':

Spewbookgirl has logged off

Gingerquidditchdude is online

Gingerquidditchdude:

I love you too. :)


	12. Ron and Lavender: Lousy Bookworms

Apurpleflower is online

Gingerquidditchdude is online

Apurpleflower:

I saw what you told Hermy.

Gingerquidditchdude:

What? And her name's Hermione.

Apurpleflower:

I stole your phone and read your "harmless" little chat with "spewbookgirl" and it seems like we have and little love story going on here. :(

Gingerquidditchdude:

I didn't mean it! I only love you and the only reason I did it was to make her feel better. I have no feelings for that… lousy bookworm.

Apurpleflower:

Okay my snuggle-wuggle bear. I believe you, but no more nonsense with Hermionerd. ;P

Gingerquidditchdude:

Got it Commander Beautiful! ;D

Apurpleflower:

Meet me behind the Qudditch field in five, ASAP.

Gingerquidditchdude:

Yes, ma'am! :)


	13. Hermione and Luna: Nargles

Spewbookgirl is online

Narglesloveradishes is online

Spewbookgirl:

Luna-pants! I need your help!

Narglesloveradishes:

What is it now? :(

Spewbookgirl:

Well, I kind of like this guy but he doesn't like me back at all, in fact, he hates me AND he's already in a relationship. D':

Narglesloveradishes:

Who is it? :)

Spewbookgirl:

Don't tell anyone

Spewbookgirl:

Ron... (#^_^#)

Narglesloveradishes:

OMG! I knew it. You guys are so cute together :P

Spewbookgirl:

The thing is he has lavender and he hates me! What do I do?

Narglesloveradishes:

Just act like it never happened. He will forget about it soon enough. ;)

Spewbookgirl:

Thank you Luna. So, what WAS that article in the Quibbler?

Narglesloveradishes:

Well, don't tell anybody, I don't want to ruin it everyone. Daddy's researching wild African Nargles in Kenya with the ministry there. It's a special article. :D

I am so excited!

Spewbookgirl:

Wow! I can't wait to read it!

Nrglesloveradishes:

I'll give u an advanced copy, you won't have to buy it.

Spewbookgirl:

Thanks, but I can buy it :)

Narglesloveradishes:

Ok. Ttyl got to email daddy they don't have a phone at the campground.

Spewbookgirl:

Ok. I'll talk to Harry, or Ron or something.

Narglesloveradishes:

Kk, bye! Good luck!


	14. Harry and Ginny: Posters

Mrspotterlove is online

Theboywholived is online

Mrspotterlove:

Wowee, Harry Potter! I can't believe you won that Qudditch match.

Theboywholived:

Oh, that? It was nothin. Slytherin was weeeeaaak.

Mrspotterlove:

Well, nobody's as great as Harry Potter.

Theboywholived:

It kind of help that their seeker had a broken arm… but we all know who would've won in the end anyway :)

Mrspotterlove:

Hey, um, I made some posters to support you in your next game on Sunday against Ravenclaw. I wondered if you wanted to meet me in my dorm and pick them up after Transfiguration, I'll be there. ;*

Theboywholived:

Ginny. Seriously. You're a year younger than me, my best friends hideous, annoying sister, and you're ugly. Not as totally hot as that gurl Cho Chang, I wanna text her allll night she's so beautiful.

Mrspotterlove:

I can be just as good as her! I promise when I'm in transfiguration I won't even be the same girl.

Theboywholived:

We'll see. Cho Chang is the hottest thing I've ever seen. She burns brighter than the sun every day and she never gets ugly.

Mrspotterlove:

I, I can be just like that I promise! I'll be perfect for you, your dream girl!

Theboywholived:

The only girl I want is Cho Chang, save yourself the breath. Maybe if you're lucky Neville will like you!

Mrspotterlove:

Ew, I'm not dating Neville he's he least popular kid in school. :(

Theboywholived:

Yeah. Totally. Nobody likes him.

Mrspotterlove:

Well, I guess I'll go distribute these posters. All alone. Nobody. Sadness. Crying.

Theboywholived:

Ok! Thanks Ginny, good luck!

Mrspotterlove:

Ya, thanks. :\

A/N: I haven't been getting any reviews lately so please tell me how I'm doing! Thanks!


	15. Ginny and Neville

(A/N: Before I start I wanted to say that some people have been telling me my characters are OOC. And they're right. :)

But the reason they are this way is because I made them be over exaggerated [for humor] and added elements from AVPM/AVPS [it's hilarious, if you haven't watched it, watch it, and if you have I rate you a 9, but not over a 9.8 because there's ALWAYS room for improvement. Nobody's perfect, like me, that's why I'm holding out for a 10. –Draco! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D] So I hope that explained the OOC and my utterly undying starkid love.)

Gardeningismorethanahobby is online

Mrspotterlove is online

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Hey Ginny

Mrspotterlove:

Hi Neville :)

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

A group of Slytherins pushed me and I fell down a staircase. :'(

Mrspotterlove:

OMG, Neville, are you okay? D:

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Kind of. I'm in the hospital wing. I bruised my shin and my nose wont stop bleeding. Madame P says it's going to be okay tommorow. I at least hoped I'd miss morning potions…

Mrspotterlove:

Hey, I'm near the infirmary do you want me to come and hang out with you? :)

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Ya, sure if you're not busy that would be great! :D

Mrspotterlove:

I'll pick up that Herbology book you like from the library on the way over. It might be a nice way to pass the time when I can't hang out with u.

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Sure! C ya in a minute!

Mrspotterlove:

C ya! ;)

(A/N: Okay guys I just wanted to show a softer kind of cuteness in this chapter with Neville being awesome :)

Please review!)


	16. Voldemort and Bellatrix: I Cannot Love

Voldiespet is online

Naginilover162 is online

Voldiespet:

Hello my dark sexiness!

Naginilover162:

Bella could you PLEASE stop saying that? The man we were torturing kept staring at us! So embarrassing...

Voldiespet:

But my hot lord!

Naginilover162:

NOT in the mood Bella. I only killed seventeen people today! Thats a record low! If you're interfering with my work, maybe I should fire you!

Voldiespet:

No my sexy king! I can make out... I mean make it up to you...

Naginilover162:

Oh Bella, I mean, absolutely not! You know the number after my name?

Voldiespet:

Aw. :( And yes.

Naginilover162:

That represents the number of people I want to kill in a day... One day. That it's my dream.

Voldiespet:

I thought ur dream was to have a nose...

Naginilover162:

I CAN HAVE MANY DREAMS BELLA

Voldiespet:

So, you don't love me?

Naginilover162:

Bella, you know I cannot love. This was just a one time hook up or whatever.

Voldiespet:

My lord! I thought you loved me!

Naginilover162:

No. I don't even love killing Harry potter. I just makes me feel all tingly good inside.

Voldiespet:

I LOVE YOU!

Naginilover162:

I cannot love Bella. If I could I would love you Bella, but I simply can't find it in my bottomless cold abyss of a heart.

Voldiespet:

But what about our evil family plans?

Naginilover162:

I was just playing mash and needed name ideas.

Voldiespet:

Naginilover162:

Apparently I married Peter and we lived in a wizard loft together with 162 kids, who I killed instantly since I havent killed that many people in one day yet!

Voldiespet:

Well, good luck. I guess I resign from being a death eater then. No use if I can't love you. _

Naginilover162:

Bring your resignation to my office tomorrow morning so we can remove the dark mark.

Voldiespet:

Yes my... Voldemort.


	17. Bellatrix and Tonks

Rainbowtonks is online

Vellabella is online

Vellabella:

Tonks, can aunt Bella stay with you for a while?

Rainbowtonks:

Bella! Why r u textin me? U r a deatheater!

Vellabella:

No, well not anymore.

Rainbowtonks:

What happened?

Vellabella:

Voldemort doesn't love me, so I resigned. It's not the same... Being evil without him.

Rainbowtonks:

What bout ur mark?

Vellabella:

Gone. They used a muggle tattoo removal devise.

Rainbowtonks:

Oh Aunt Bella... Has Sissy heard?

Vellabella:

No, if she did she would probably tear me to peices.

Rainbowtonks:

Kk Bella. I got a spare bedroom u can stay over here.

Vellabella:

Ooo! It'll be just like a sleepover, you can get to know the REAL me better!

Rainbowtonks:

Yay!


	18. Ginny and Neville: Date

Gardeningismorethanahobby is online

Gingercutie is online

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

What up what up? Hey, u changed ur screen name!

Gingercutie:

Yup! I don't like Harry anymore...

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Than who do u like? :)

Gingercutie:

Not telling you!

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Here. Give me a hint.

Gingercutie:

Well, he's handsome, cute, funny, nice, loving, and smart! ;)

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Well, there are a lot of boys like that. You sure you don't still like Harry?

Gingercutie:

Nope! This guy doesn't play quidditch.

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Then who is it?

Gingercutie:

You, silly!

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Well, then I want to take you to the finest restraunt in all of hogsmeade!

Gingercutie:

Oh Neville! You're so romantic!

Gardeningismorethanahobby:

Well, dress up nice and meet me at the Elegant Owl in an hour!

Gingercutie:

I will Neville! :-*


	19. Luna and Neville

Gardeningismorethanahobby is online

Narglesloveradishes is online

Gardeningismorethanahobby: Hey Luna!

Narglesloveradishes: Uh, hi Neville :)

Gardeningismorethanahobby: So. What's up?

Narglesloveradishes: The nargles.

Gardeningismorethanahobby: Huh?

Narglesloveradishes: Well, the nargle populations are up two percent.

Gardeningismorethanahobby: Well, that's nice. I gotta go take Ginny on a date! Bye!

Narglesloveradishes: Neville! Someone stole my striped socks can you help me find them?

Gardeningismorethanahobby is offline

Narglesloveradishes: Neville?

Gingercutie is online

Gingercutie: Hey, I know what you're trying to do.

Narglesloveradishes: Oh hi! Thank goodness, can you help me find my socks?

Gingercutie: Seriously, I know what you're trying to do.

Narglesloveradishes: Find my socks? I really need help.

Gingercutie: Stop playing an airhead, cuz sweetie, Neville's mine.

Narglesloveradishes: Ok!

Gingercutie: You are so annoying. You can't take Neville away from me ever.

Narglesloveradishes: You guys are so cute together!

Gingercutie: I'm keeping my eye on you.

Narglesloveradishes: Ok! I'll c ya! ;)


	20. Voldemort and Lucius

Hotanddangerous is online

Naginilover162 is online

Hotanddangerous: Voldemort, where did you request to meet at Disney?

Naginilover162: In front of the prince charming regal carrousel!

Hotanddangerous: But, but my lord, that's quite a fast ride… and so many squealing little muggle girls…

Naginilover162: Yes but you've got to take risks… and we can just kill all the girls, they'll never see it coming.

Hotanddangerous: Yes my lord. I can't wait to see Minnie mouse's house. The brochure says she'll bake you cookies if you visit!

Naginilover162: OMG OMG I. LOVE. COOKIES!

Hotanddangerous: OMG ME TOO!

Naginilover162: TWINSIES!

Hotanddangerous: OMG YESSSS ALL DA WAY! LOL!

Naginilover162: LUV YA BIFFLE! LMAO!

Hotanddangerous: And maybe… we can ride SPLASH MOUNTAIN!

Naginilover162: No way dude! No. freakin. way! I'll, like, die, or something.

Hotanddangerous: But we must live life! Plus, all the girls are totes gonna be there and think we r super manly.

Naginilover162: Obviously! I need a hot chick to get my mind off of Bella.

Hotanddangerous: That must have been so heartbreaking. She is so getting crucioed ASAP. Well, she wasn't even hot anyways, I think that new death eater Pixy is totally into you man.

Naginilover162: I am so glad I could talk to you about it bro. None of the other death eaters know, if they did, they wouldn't go on killing sprees with me anymore. I mean, ALL of them have girlfriends and wives and I would totally be the odd man out. It would be like Hogwarts ALL OVER AGAIN dude. And yes… maybe I could hang out with her sometime….

Hotanddangerous: Or you could go out with me!

Naginilover162: OMG LUCIUS THAT IS SO WRONG! EWWWWWEY!

Hotanddangerous: I mean… only if you had to and we would only be pretending.

Naginilover162: Oh, of course. I was just being a drama queen.

Hotanddangerous: Well, I just got there! C ya Voldemort!

Naginilover162: C ya!


	21. Harry and Ginny: Desperate

Gingercutie is online

Theboywholived is online

Gingercutie: Hi Harry!

Theboywholived: What up Ginny?

Gingercutie: Hangin out with Luna and Neville.

Theboywholived: Well, Luna's cool, but Neville?

Gingercutie: Hey! He's my boyfriend!

Narglesloveradishes is online

Narglesloveradishes: Ginny, could you please stop kicking me from under the table! It's going to give me bruises and it hurts!

Gingercutie: Oh, sorry you finally feel pain, airheaded freak.

Theboywholived: Whoa whoa whoa, what's going on here?

Gingercutie: Luna's is trying to steal my boyfriend!

Narglesloveradishes: No I'm not! Why would I ever do that? You're my friend, Ginny, and I don't even like Neville.

Gingercutie: So you're saying my boyfriend isn't good enough for the weirdest loser at Hogwarts not to like? :(

Narglesloveradishes: That's it, I'm leaving.

Narglesloveradishes is offline

Theboywholived: Good going Ginny, way to lose another friend.

Theboywholived is offline

Gingercutie: Come on Harry, it's just because I love him!

Theboywholived is online

Theboywholived: No offense Ginny, but you don't really love him. I just think you're desperate and nobody but Neville is desperate enough to accept it.

Gingercutie: Of course I love him! He's the best boyfriend a girl could have, unlike you Harry. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend.

Theboywholived: Wow Ginny. Don't try to talk to me ever again.

Gingercutie: Fine, I never needed you anyway. Neville's more fun to hang out with anyway. :(


	22. Ron and Lavender: The Proposal

Apurpleflower is online

Gingerquidditchdude is online

Apurpleflower: Is there something you wanted to tell me, honeybunchkins?

Gingerquidditchdude: Ya… After a few months of happily dating…

Apurpleflower: OMG I knew it, I knew. Padma told me this would happen.

Gingerquidditchdude: Oh good then this won't be a big surprise.

Gingerquidditchdude: I'm breaking up with you.

Apurpleflower: I do! :D

Apurpleflower: WAIT, WHAT?

Gingerquidditchdude: Yeah, I'm sorry Lav but I'm not really interested anymore.

Apurpleflower: I thought you were proposing!

Gingerquidditchdude: I'm really sorry Lav I've just got another girl in my mind.

Apurpleflower: WHO IS SHE I WILL MURDER HER IN HER SLEEP! D:

Gingerquidditchdude: Whoa. What is your problem? We can still be friends…

Apurpleflower: No way! I couldn't stand to see you with another girl! Plus we got the cutest couple rating in Gryffindor!

Gingerquidditchdude: We are the ONLY couple in Gryffindor, other than Ginny and Neville.

Apurpleflower: Those losers, especially that ugly ginger, Ginny.

Gingerquidditchdude: NOBODY calls my sister ugly! I am never talking to you again! This is why I broke up with you in the first place!

Apurpleflower: Snugglebear! Come back! I love you with all my heart!

A/N: Please give me some reviews! I haven't gotten any in a long time!


	23. Don't Stop Believing!

Just a city girl

Livin' in the muggle world

She took the Hogwarts train goin' anywhere

Just a small town boy

Born and raised in the burrow

He took the Hogwarts train goin' anywhere

A witch in a common room

Smell of Butterbeer and cheap love potions

For a smile they can share the night

It goes on and on and on and on

Dementors, waiting, up and down Hogsmeade

Their shadows searching in the night

Lumos, Wizards, living just to kill Voldemort

Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get him back

Just no time to relax

Payin' anything to roll the dice

Just one more time

One will win, one will lose

Some won't stay in twos

Oh, Harry's legacy never ends

It goes on and on and on and on

Dementors, waiting, up and down Hogsmeade

Their shadows searching in the night

Lumos, Wizards, living just to kill Voldemort

Hiding somewhere in the night

Don't stop believing!

We can kill Voldemort!

Lumos, Wizards!

Don't stop believing!

We can do anything!

Lumos, Wizards!

Don't stop believing!

We can kill Voldemort!

Lumos, Wizards!

A/N: Okay! What did you think? I was just bored and wrote this soooo yeah. If you don't know by now it's to don't stop believing by journey!

Sorry for the interruption of your normal HP and the Order of the iPhone, I will be making new ones ASAP!

Remember to review! ;)


	24. Ron and Hermione: Intervened

Gingerquidditchdude is online

Spewbookgirl is online

Gingerquidditchdude: Hey Hermione!

Spewbookgirl: Hi Ron.

Gingerquidditchdude: Can I ask you something?

Spewbookgirl: Yes, anything!

Gingerquidditchdude: Would you do me the honor of making me your boyfriend?

Spewbookgirl: OMG YES! YES!

Gingerquidditchdude: I love you more than I could ever love that stupid Lavender. I know you're the girl for me.

Spewbookgirl: And I know you're the perfect boy for me.

Gingerquidditchdude: Do you think Harry will mind?

Spewbookgirl: Oh I don't think so. Harry isn't the jealous type. Plus he never liked me anyway.

IMMADATYOU is online

IMADATYOU: Oh. So this is the girl. The two lovebirds united at last and poor Lavender pushed aside.

P1 is online

P2 is online

P1: You're a jerk Ron! I hate you and Hermione forever!

P2: You broke Lavender's heart you soulless idiot! Lavender's too good for you!

IMMADATYOU: Have fun with your new loser girlfriend Ronald!

P1: Yeah!

P2: You're a disgrace to Gryffindor!

IMMADATYOU is offline

P2 is offline

P1 is offline

Gingerquidditchdude: It's okay Hermione.

Spewbookgirl: I'm not sad! Those girls just terrorized you!

Gingerquidditchdude: No it's fine, I deserve it.

Spewbookgirl: Nobody deserves that! I'm going to show that stupid Lavender that she can't push you around anymore.

Gingerquidditchdude: Okay, but please be careful!

Spewbookgirl: I will. :)


	25. Harry and Ginny: That's the Spirit!

Gingercutie is online

Gingercutie: HARRY! NEVILLE BROKE UP WITH MEEEEE! AND NOW HE'S GOING OUT WITH THAT, THAT, WELL I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT LUNA!

Gingercutie: HARRY WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING IM CRYING MY EYES OOUUUT!

Theboywholived is online

Theboywholived: Ginny, I'm not talking to you, remember? And stop being so clingy you'll get over it.

Gingercutie: Yeah, but I still love him but he loves that hideous brat LOOOOOONY LUUUUUNA and I'm never ever ever going to get another boyfriend because I'm "ugly" and "annoying" and I'll end up dying alone and the only people who will come to my funeral are my 285 cats! :'(

Theboywholived: Aw, well your not ugly Ginny. I mean sometimes you can be annoying but you're not ugly.

Gingercutie: Well, thanks, but obviously the rest of the world doesn't think so. Even Ron said if I wasn't his sister he wouldn't go out with me for a million galleons!

Theboywholived: Well, he's just being stupid. If you brushed your hair and teeth every once in a while and didn't scream and run away when boys came up to talk to you I think a lot of boys would like you!

Gingercutie: Wowee Harry you're right! I'm going to go wash my clothes right now!

Theboywholived: That's the spirit! :D

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! D':

Please review ASAP, I want to know what should happen to everyone next :)

Thanks for all the support, I give you all super thumbs (and toes) up for sticking with this story all 25 chapters of insanity!

I will update very soon, I promise.


	26. Bellatrix and Tonks: Birthday

Rainbowtonks is online

Vellabella is online

Rainbowtonks: Hey Bella! U awake yet?

Vellabella: Well I am now -_-

Rainbowtonks: Oopsies! Sorry Bella!

Vellabella: No it's fine.

Rainbowtonks: Okey-dokey then. Come into the kitchen!

Vellabella: Why? OMG is this an intervention or something…

Rainbowtonks: No, silly! It's a very special occasion! :D

Vellabella: Really? Is it Volde- oops, not supposed to say the name anymore.

Rainbowtonks: It helps with your deep emotional heeeeeeeeealing.

Vellabella: I'm coming I'm coming

Vellabella: Where r u?

Rainbowtonks: SURPRISE! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Partaaaayyyy!

Vellabella: What is this fluffy unicorn nonsense for?

Rainbowtonks: It's your BIRTHDAY Bella! Ta-da!

Vellabella: My birthday?

Rainbowtonks: Of course, your birthday!

Vellabella: We aren't, weren't, allowed to have birthdays as death eaters. It brings too much joy.

Rainbowtonks: Well that's why they're such grumpy-pants!

Vellabella: Ya…

Rainbowtonks: They don't sound nice, you're too good for them, and we wouldn't want to hang out with them anyway.

Vellabella: Of course, of course… :|

A/N: Okay guys sorry for my many long authors notes :( It sucks, I know. But I got an all-time low of views on my story when I posted my last chapter, so please also include with your awesome compliments and etc. what you think or know why this is! I posted it on Sunday, and that's the weekend, so I was also confused about that too. Also please tell me when you usually read my fan fiction (on the weekends, after school, etc.)

Thank you so much for your continued support (I'll put some of my most faithful, awesome followers in the A/N of the next story!)


	27. Molly and Arthur

Mollymom is online

Muggleobjects is online

Mollymom: Hello? Arthur? I need you to pick up some lunch meat for Ronniekins on your way to the Ministry? The meat at Hogwarts is infected by a boggart virus and all the meat is turning into the students worst fears!

Muggleobjects: ,finwd

Mollymom: Arthur, dear, did you get my text?

Muggleobjects: I'm sorry honey, I'm just trying to figure out how to use this infernal device!

Mollymom: So can you pick up the meat? I'm busy at home.

Muggleobjects: I can't, important stuff at the ministry.

Mollymom: But Ronnies lunch is turning into spiders! How is he supposed to eat that? He ended up in the hospital wing from fainting because he thought he ate a spider!

Muggleobjects: Well, he just has to man up! I heard Harrys fine and he eats the meat there all the time, even with the boggart virus!

Mollymom: Oh, well, I can't pick it up!

Muggleobjects: Too busy reading about the latest Lockhart scandal in Witches Weekly, eh?

Mollymom: Of course not! What a terrible thing to say! That poor, sexy man is in terrible pain at St. Mungos!

Muggleobjects: Whatever you say, dear. I'll pick it up on my way back.

Mollymom: Thank you sweetie! ; *

A/N: Thank you for so many fabulous reviews! I decided not to do the favorite followers thing because it's not fair and I love you all!


	28. Draco and Hermione: Spam War

Purebloodpride is online

Spewbookgirl is online

Purebloodpride: Hello Granger, how's your freckled freak boyfriend?

Spewbookgirl: Fine, thank you very much.

Purebloodpride: That wasn't a compliment, you stupid mudblood.

Spewbookgirl: WHAT did you just call me?

Purebloodpride: A mudblood, so what are you gonna do about it?

Theboywholived is online

Gingercutie is online

Narglesloveradishes is online

Gingerquidditchdude is online

Sexyasian is online

Gardeningismorethanahobby is online

Theboywholived: SPAM WAR!

Gingercutie: jwebfwouebfvpinewqcweqonve

Theboywholived: qwidhn0iqwsqowdmweoevnerng30 4ewnvcrejnve

Theboywholived: qwioenfq0iwnmvntjntrnrtgnerw indweoifciewonve

Narglesloveradishes: weoifhebbbfjddnbbbbbbbbbbb

Gingercutie: eknfiwneiwfweepweoeinfwefbyv bwknfeqwndqwi wvnwunvwoenvwoe

Sexyasian: qiwdhewuihfreubreigbu3rgbeug eiu

Sexyasian: dfnowifnowuefboniewbonf

Theboywholived: iqwdnqpsmnwqindqewoinfwoef

Gardeningismorethanahobby: kakaakakakdjfhfhueruerntiore niorgieroer0834ht43fnrvnrnoc voeiwnveio

Purebloodpride: FINE FINE please just stop! I'm sorry Granger, I'm SORRY.

Narglesloveradishes: And don't even THINK about messing with her ever again!

Purebloodpride is offline

Spewbookgirl: Thanks guys :)

Theboywholived: Anything for you Hermione, you're my bestest friend ever.

Gingerquidditchdude: :\

Theboywholived: You too Ron!

Gingerquidditchdude: That's better!

A/N: Thank for all the great reviews and such! And also big thanks to ollent for inspiring me to write this chapter! I love you all and I can't believe it's already chapter 28! Thanks so much for your support!


	29. The Golden Trio

Gingerquidditchdude is online

Theboywholived is online

Gingerquidditchdude: Hey Harry

Theboywholived: Oh hi Ron!

Gingerquidditchdude: I have to ask you something… don't get mad…

Theboywholived: Um, sure. What's wrong?

Gingerquidditchdude: Do you, do you like Hermione?

Theboywholived: Oh my wizard god Ron! Of course I don't, why would you think that?

Gingerquidditchdude: Because when we were spamming Malfoy you acknowledged Hermione before me. I don't want to lose both my best friend and my girlfriend.

Theboywholived: Well, I don't have feelings for her. I mean, as a best friend, yes. But nothing else. I would never want to hurt your relationship :)

Gingerquidditchdude: I'll go talk to her.

Spewbookgirl is online

Spewbookgirl: Hey guys! Harry just called me and told me to text you guys. What's up?

Theboywholived: Ron has something to ask you.

Gingerquidditchdude: 'Mione, Do you like Harry? Like.. like, like?

Spewbookgirl: Of course not!

Spewbookgirl: Why would you think that?

Gingerquidditchdude: Because you give him so much attention!

Spewbookgirl: Aww, you're just so jealous! We are just friends, I promise.

Gingerquidditchdude: You're the best Hermione

Spewbookgirl has changed her username to ILoveYou

Gingerquidditchdude: I love you too

Theboywholived: :)

A/N: So…. AHHHHH! Big Internet group hug, I missed you so much guys! I wasn't leaving, I just had so much schoolwork and all that stuff I had no time to update! I won't update quite as often but I can assure you I am not leaving. I was woken up by two very awesome people. Sailor Rallison (go read her stories!) and Sims blogger, starsarahs (If you are reading this please just know I totally adore your blogs and please continue them!) But the point is, I would be so sad whenever starsarahs did not finish her blogs because I loved them so much. Then, Sailor Rallison kept bringing up her Fanfiction stories when I was texting her and then ***gasp* **pang of guilt. So here it is! Ta-da!

Ps. VIVA FRANCE!

Guess what my new obsession is ;)


	30. Remus and Tonks

A/N: Your as requested… Remus and Tonks Text-Session!

Also, should I start a Les Miserables story? It would mean less time for HP updates so I wanted to ask first. Also, should I make an Instagram/Twitter for you guys? Like, maybe that would be easier to access updates than email, just wondering. I could also post special extras and all that.

Werewolfboy is online

Rainbowtonks is online

Werewolfboy: Hi Tonks, um, saw you at the order yesterday… I liked your dress. :)

Rainbowtonks: Oh! Thanks! I really liked the speech you gave. You were all like "Let's do this!" and everyone was like "Okay!"

Werewolfboy: Yeah, I'm glad we decided on my idea not to let Lucius into the order. He seemed sketchy.

Rainbowtonks: I guess. All he wanted to do was help Voldemort and said it was for the better of the order.

Werewolfboy: He did invite me ice-skating on Saturday!

Rainbowtonks: Oh goody!

Werewolfboy: Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come?

Rainbowtonks: Oh, I'm sorry Remus. I already promised Bella we could go get ice cream.

Werewolfboy: Oh okay… sorry.

Rainbowtonks: No! I'm sorry. Maybe another time?

Werewolfboy: I guess so.

Rainbowtonks is offline

Werewolfboy: I love you.

Werewolfboy is offline.

A/N: Also, I meant to put links to starsarahs stories so they will be below. Also, sorry for the short chapter but I have to go help my mom out. I will have my phone with me so I will try to respond to messages.

chapters/


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